Hello from the Mighty Columbia

I am truly busy as Sam alluded. I just spent almost a month in Ellensburg, which is long enough for baby redwing blackbirds to learn to fly and leave the nest and a wildfire to be started and put out on my parents' property. Thanks to Solstice party attendees for putting all their fireperson skills to use in a time of crisis. It will be a year to remember.

Today we celebrate the Actual Summer Solstice in Longview, WA, which is our first Actual Road Trip Stop. Today we visit two eighty-year-olds and a bridge for squirrels. Tomorrow it's likely I'll wake up in the woods.

Business Time

So even though I only manage to post here once a month or so, I have been spreading the gospel of the GSS far and wide whilst tipsy. A month ago my roommate and I got free business cards that make no sense whatsoever beyond the facts that I listed this blog as my employment since I lack a real career and also tacked on the disclaimer "I'm probably drunk right now," which has been true about 90 percent of the time. I've passed them out in three different states over the past couple of weeks and have gained in return:
-2 free pitchers of beer
-1 free shot (and applause from everyone at the bar when I took it) and a free pint of Irish Death
-2 new Facebook friends
-5 business cards that actually make sense because real people who are not jokes in life gave them to me
-Many confused looks, then pointed glances at the exit. Also a guy I went on a date with stopped calling me.
... Mostly kidding about that last one. He was actually the first blatantly homophobic person I have met in Seattle, which was jarring, but it was nice to realize that there are so few homophobic types around here.
In other date type news, the driver of the bus I take every morning asked me out for coffee, which was nice of him. The bus is a sardine tin full of fishy surprises; I also recently learned from a strange smelling man in the front seat that the Nutcracker is actually about incest, furthering my conclusion that it's getting time to start biking everywhere.
Anyway. I'm headed to Europe in ten days having planned absolutely nothing, but I have been watching Locked Up Abroad and eating a lot of cheese in preparation. I'm traveling with my sis Apple, who apparently is this blog's number one fan and also more batshit then me, so we'll try to send a less rambly update before returning in late July!

None of us are dead! Just busy!

I'll write so soon.... I'm sorry....

i swear i'm not dead.

hey ya'll!!!!! guess what???? i still exist... which shouldn't be really surprising except for the fact that all the good people were supposed to be sucked up to heaven by some holy vacuum and the rest of us were just supposed to stay here and tear each other apart????? luckily, it was just another delusion by some crazy christian wackjob and didn't really mean anything. i did try to use it as an excuse to get out of going to work that day but when my boss casually retorted with that little word that donald trump is so fond of i gave up on my dreams of using my last day on the planet to do copious amounts of cocaine and show my boobs to everyone, and instead went and made really grumpy tourists coffee. for all day. other than that... things are not so normal around here. i have decided that i will not be going to norway (this is where you all sigh sadly) and instead will be staying in bozeman and enrolling in school again. i hope this will kick my life into high gear for a while because even though we all had to listen to and read sam's bitching for the last year i was secretly envious. i miss the hustle... not like the rap game (i get to do that on the weekends) but i just miss being so balls deep in projects that when i lay down at night i can actually sleep. makes sense no???? so that is what i am doing. as for me and russell... we are still friends and care for each other a lot... so don't freak out. i miss you all and now that sam is in butte i feel a gss reunion coming on. what are everyone's plans for june????

max---- te amo your awesome.

julia... take lots o photos

sam... i love you.

rachel... i love you more probably.

chynna---- i don't know you but your posts are interesting and it would be fun to meet you *hint hint come to butte*

is that it???? if we have a new contributor i missed it and it's not my fault.

ciao bellas!!!!!
(in my heaviest drag queen accent)

Unusually Calm

So I took a spontaneous trip to Montana and am, right at this very minute, sitting in Clark's living room with Julia + family as they talk about her road trip (should have jumped on this, it sounds AWESOME, though Julia was not willing to go to the world's most giant ball of yarn though so I'm headed to Ireland instead) and we digest an amazing breakfast.
Montana has been unusually tame. The wind has been crazy and people's houses are getting smashed all around us, but the fact that I remember everything that happened this weekend means that things have definitely changed. I miss the days of midget fights and free drugs from hobos (tags: first trip to Montana, alternate universe, MOM COME AND GET ME THINGS HAVE GOTTEN STRANGE) but I'm now feeling kind of inclined to maybe move here for a bit. We'll see.
Anyway, Julia was disappointed that I hadn't posted more so this is my whirlwind update, I told her I was intimidated by how fascinating and funny all the rest of y'all are. Congratulations, and carry on.

Now that I'm done with college and yet another commercially-driven holiday is behind me and the flower shop, I theoretically have more time to blog, but that doesn't mean I actually will. Because here is the thing. I have to move out of my house, "have fun with my family while they're in town," then get ready for our enormous road trip.

This is roughly our path. We leave Missoula May 18, and while I'm lounging around Ellensburg for a month, Clark and Kyle will be working for a friend of Clark's on her ranch in Nevada. They are going to build a straw bale structure of some kind; they've downscaled somewhat from their original goal so I'm not a hundred percent on what they're actually doing besides getting buff and tan. Then they'll come back up to Ellensburg, and after the Solstice party on June 18, we actually technically hit the road.

All the way west, then south, then fuckin' Grand Canyon camping for Fourth of July, then three steamy weeks at Clark's parents' house in Arkansas.

We will get to see America in all its shining glory.

Then, somehow, we're supposed to get all the way up the east coast and back to Missoula by the third week of August, giving Clark and Kyle enough time to get ready for fall semester (suckers). As of right now, we're set to be in Cleveland for Clark's birthday, August 16. We'll see how that goes.

Already getting ready for the birthday party.

Seriously, though, I can't really hang out on the blogosphere the next two weeks or so. Sorry, I'll blog all about Ellensburg when I get there.

Que hubo parceros?

The other day I went into a small grocery store to buy some food. The cashier handed me my items, and I replied with the customary "gracias!". Except instead of saying gracias I said "cuatro!"...which you may know and love in English as the number 4. I don't know where these mental slip-ups come from but it's basically shown me that being a Spanish major has its limitations.

Also, a few weeks ago someone spray painted on my house "No a la invasion imperialista en Libia" (No to the imperialist invasion of Lybia)...which makes me think someone out there knows I'm American and is blaming me for bombing Lybia. But I'm innocent. The only bombs I drop are news updates like the following: I'll be in Butte June 11th through June 27th and in that time I want to kiss each and everyone of you.

That is all.