Nevar 4get

I learned something swell just now: At the end of Remember Me (IN THEATERS NOW!), starring Dracula: Dead and Loving It's Robert Pattinson, Robert's character dies in 9/11 in a twist ending seconds before the film ends. Again, I'm not sure if Hollywood is tricking us or what, but I'm guessing this movie will probably make a billion dollars.

I'm just going to leave this here:

UPDATE OF SORTS: I just remembered that Avatar invokes 9/11 when that big dumb tree falls down and everyone is all running away scared and ash is falling on them. It should be a rule that every movie invokes 9/11 some how so that America never forgets the events of that tragic day.

On Avatar

I've been wracking my brains trying to come up with a really well thought-out rant against Avatar and everything it stands for. Then Max wrote that shit about exploitation or whatever and it ruined my motivation. I guess I'll try because I can't think of anything better to write about and it's too god damn cold outside to do anything fun.

What got me wound up the other day was that it was nominated for Best Picture. People are always ragging on the Oscars for not celebrating true artsmanship and being an outlet for corporate shilling or whatever who cares, but I get overly emotionally invested in things like this and then I shout at my television and get testy and make everyone around me upset. I wish I didn't care, but I do. Here is why:

Avatar was basically as well thought out as a Sci-Fi (Syfy) Original Movie. I guess James Cameron has been sitting on the idea for this movie for years and has been waiting for technology to catch up with his vision. Since I'm autistic, I spend all my time lolling back and forth, coming up with imaginary stories. Sometimes I think of a story that tickles me but, upon further exploration, reveals itself to be a totally stupid idea and I abandon it. The ability to do this makes me more highly evolved than James Cameron. Some people (mostly loser art teachers) like to say that no idea is a bad idea. I posit that like 88% of ideas are just terrible. Here are some now:

- Giant blue cat people with tits

- Casting Sam Worthington in any movie

- USB cable hair braids that connect to 6 legged bug-horses' face-dongs

- Trying to write political/social satire when you have a fifth-grade reading level

- Making a movie about having sex with a cat

omg

When you put all of these abortions of ideas together with a bare bones retelling of The Passion of the Christ and then Pocahontas pisses all over it you get: the highest grossing film ever because America is Baby Town, USA.

The notion of wearing another body is a creepy idea that could have been explored in such a cool way by someone not intellectually bankrupt, but Cameron wanted to make Harry Potter and the Blue Cat Vagina and call it a day.

This man thinks you're stupid. He's probably right.

In Summation: James Cameron makes a substandard CGI animated film with smatterings of live action, makes a pact with an Ancient Dead God, and almost connives his way in to a Best Picture Oscar. I can't tell if he's tricking everyone or what. If he is, good for him and shame on EVERYONE. This shit is a national embarrassment and man-made disaster on par with the Exxon Valdez oil spill.

Avatar sucks pt.1

Before we get into what I'm sure will be an arduous struggling concerning the artistic merits of Avatar, I'd like to get in a first jab. Most people who saw that movie I'm sure where horrified by the humans' insatiable lust for the material resources of others. And most people who saw the movie probably didn't connect the dots that fueling an economy which allows such huge quantities of wealth to be poured into escapist entertainment requires massive consumption of resources. If anything, Avatar just shows us how much we (myself included) suck.

Avatar Sucks

more to come