I was gonna recommend some songs, but then I got high - 2nd Printing

Sam remembered, though, and I now have a small list. Clark pitched in, too, so it won't just be me remembering songs I like that have been on my iPod since high school (just kidding, I didn't have an iPod in high school).

First off, Sam, I told Clark that you have similar taste in music to both myself and our friend Jon, whom you've met and with whom you are now Facebook friends. (Maybe this'll jog your memory: You both have an affinity for corgis.) AND ANYWAY Jon has a COOL MUSIC BLOGthat I tried to tell you guys about on Monday, November 22, 2010. (Meta-link! Zing!) Go to him for further instruction if needed, but until then:

O'Death
Myspace-determined genre: folk/indie
Home base: New York
Place and time to listen: being careful not to step on sidewalk cracks
Place and time not to listen: death bed
Sounds vaguely like: Americanized Flogging Molly

Lia Ices
Myspace-determined genre: experimental/pop
Home base: Brooklyn
Place and time to listen: the kitchen at night
Place and time not to listen: a strip club
Sounds vaguely like: someone singing through a mirror

Shahs
Myspace-determined genre: live electronics/tropical/visual
Home base: "Missoula via Minneapolis"
Place and time to listen: The Palace
Place and time not to listen: pretty much literally nowhere
Sounds vaguely like: hot pavement

The Strange Boys
Myspace-determined genre: R&B
Home base: Austin, TX
Place and time to listen: the kind of party where they don't play beer pong
Place and time not to listen: Bible study
Sounds vaguely like: the parts of the 1960s I would have enjoyed
Super bonus: Playing at this year's Fool's Night Out, April 1 at the Badlander!


That's all for now; I'll add more when I have time. Here's an explanation of why I don't have time today. But I still love you!

Editor's Note - This is actually by Julia!

Freaking weird time keepers

Blogger.com has a weird concept of time and posts things according to the time you start them, not when you finish them. I guess it's trying to give everyone, especially me, a lot more credit than they deserve. What I'm getting at is the post I started literally three weeks ago is finally up but you have to click back to March 8 to find it. Sorry. It's not even that exciting but I don't want Sam to get mad at me for never posting.

Here is another super bonus that matches the post I just published... three weeks ago.

Look at how hot he is!

JULIA OUT.

I HAVE A QUESTION!

But before I ask it, I 'll send out the requisite congratulations to my fellow Giant Spiders on our 10,000 hit. This is the biggest event in GSS history, right after Olive's breaching of the poop barrier. Now that she's crossed that threshold, I guess there isn't anything we can't talk about.

But back to my question. I went to the park the other day to read a book. I sat down on a bench, and an old man next to me was reading 'La Paz y La Guerra'...aka War & Peace, by Tolstoy. I thought, 'Hmm....I've heard of that book, maybe I should try reading it someday'. But then another thought came to my mind: Who actually reads War & Peace? I've never met anyone in my entire life who has even attempted it. Its 1,000+ pages are a bit intimidating and I'm sure the book deals with events and situations that none of us can meaningfully relate to.

A book

But next I thought, 'How would someone (namely one of my GSS pals) react if I told them I was reading War & Peace?' They would no doubt call me a pretentious asshole.

So here's my question: Can anyone actually read War & Peace without being pretentious? Or does the mere act of even entertaining the idea of reading the book (regardless of one's noble intentions) automatically make them a vainglorious snob?

Please discuss. My English classes in Colombia keep getting cancelled, so I'm left thinking about stupid stuff like this and I need some perspective.

ps. I miss all of you and you need to post more so I can live vicariously through your beautiful lives. Gracias.

We Are Now Internet Famous

So we have 10,000 hits. I'd like to think that we've learned and grown a lot in the last year or so, but I think that may be overselling it. Max and I started this blog in order to get over some creative blocks that we were both feeling. I wanted to collect imaginary friends. I think he wanted to take picture or some stupid thing. We failed in both respects (I'm still bitter about the imaginary friends thing).

However, what this blog has done is bring a bunch of people together who may have otherwise fallen out of touch. We are a society. Even our members who don't know each other in real life... know each other, you know? It's a friendship blog that a lot of people happen to read every now and then. I'm okay with that.

So thank you, Giant Spiders. And thank you, Spider Pals, for coming back here even though we're occasionally (always) inane. Let's all try our best to keep this beast going for another 10,000.

And, as always, fuck you Calvin, you useless twat.

Love,

Sam

PS: I occurs to me it may make the most sense to keep a contributing membership of eight instead of seven... like, thematically.

PPS: I'm fucking terrified of spiders.

PPPS: Happy Birthday, Rachel!

I Wish I Knew How to Quit You

Tonight, I watched the second half of Brokeback Mountain. And wept. I've never even seen a trailer for the film (I'm culturally inept?), but I heard it was real good, and it is. The second half, anyway.

Last week, after my initial viewing of Harold and Maude, forced upon me by best friend and Maude-prophet Hannah, I bawled. Curled into a ball and cried my eyes out. It was so happy and so sad and so sweet and I just couldn't contain myself. If you haven't seen it, see it.

Also, recently, my mom and I decided to watch Boy in the Striped Pajamas. By the time I figured out what was going to happen, I got too sad and decided to leave the room, but my mom got really stressed and told me that she would positively die if I left her alone with the ending of that movie, so I stayed. And I totally lost it. It is

All this to say that, somewhere along the line, I have turned into a giant, mushy, sentimental crybaby. Sam would kick me in the shins and tell me to get a grip, but at least I posted, so he can finally get some sleep.

Chynna

P.S. For those of you who have been in Missoula, Montana on a Thursday evening: I went to DeadHipster sober. It was awful. Some guy licked my ear and everyone smelled really bad. Don't do drugs.

P.P.S. I'll write you a poem next time cause I like poems.

Some Alarming Analysis

Here are some of the more suspect search terms people have used to get to the GSS:

spiders and woman naked

giant hot dogs

woman desnude in public

public naked for money

giant naked lady

What on earth is wrong with you people?

all things. considered.

the last time i wrote on this thing i had to write about poop. literally. just poop. because it seems as though i really don't have anything of merit to write about. which is pretty much why i have abandoned my other blog in favor of this one, because i know that sam checks this one faithfully and will at least read my contributions, even if he does think they are crap. haha. pun. i really do try but it seems as though the only good things i have to say are said better in personal conversation, and anyone who looks at me in no way would believe i'm somewhat witty so i force you all to have to deal with my attempts.

on another note. yesterday was st. patrick's day in good ol' butte, mt. i missed you sam and max. i had fun nonetheless. it was pretty standard as far as st. patrick's days go but i did get to ride in the trunk of a car for the first time in my life and honestly... it was pretty damned comfortable. i almost took a nap, except russell (who was crammed in there with me) would not stop squirming. oh, and jessi mullowney's dad is soooooper cool.

everything else thus far has also been pretty lame. oh, i moved into a new tattoo shop. which is in belgrade. i work with a rad artist named noah singer and i will learn a lot from him. as far as the last shop goes, let's just say it was not working out and we broke it off. but since i've moved i have been busy as hell and that is good. i have new tattoo pictures posted on my facepage for all of you who are interested.

all moved into russell's place and it has aspects that are good (as in i pay a miniscule amount of rent, and it's not spider-infested) and bad (as in there is no room for any of my shit so it's all in boxes in the garage, and it's way far away from both of my jobs) but in the end it works out for the most part.i am currently engaged in a battle royale with my neighbor over my dog. he thinks that because my dog is the only dog he sees ever that it must mean that my dog is the only dog in all of existence and therefore every time he sees a pile of dog poo around his house that it must have once belonged to my dog. which is not true. so he's made several rude remarks and called animal control on me twice and even stooped so low as to fling some afore-mentioned poo at my front door. i think i might kill him. or at least break his legs and make it look like an accident. russell tries to deter me as much as he can.


i sometimes like to think that i might be able to talk about world affairs if i try to be conscientious about them... but then i pay attention for a couple of weeks and i get really depressed. all of this unrest in libya upsets the fuck out of me. that type of mass genocide going ignored is the whole reason the holocaust had the chance to happen. but i don't think i fully support the united states stepping in on another country's affairs. i'm actually surprised we didn't go in with guns blazing considering the amount of oil there. i certainly don't think that the people in libya should have to endure the violent ravings of a political leader gone mad, but i don't support another war funded by the u.s.
and then there's the earthquake in japan. the thing that really gets me going about this is that when the towers fell, the whole fucking world stopped in it's tracks and paid attention. it was considered a tragedy of epic proportions. i'm not trying to say that the deaths of 3,000 people is meaningless... it had profound meaning for the people that it connected.... but when one wave of water can wipe out over 7,000 people and counting, not to mention cause the biggest nuclear disasters in recent memory and the best advice we have is to pour some more water on it???? come the fuck on.
i don't know what's worse: keeping up with current affairs and being pissed off all the time or throwing my tv into the berkley pit and living in blissful ignorance. i'll let you know when i figure it out.

i just realized this is my second consecutive post concerning poo.



i would just like to let you all know that i'm the only one on the "not idiots list"

Oh Hello!

I've only officially met half of you so hello other half of GSS!

Here are the basics of my nomenclature just so I'm not jumping in as a random kid from California...

I:

take photos of things like glowing traffic cones and sleeping pigeons.

am highly fascinated by snow.

paint fingers and hands.

the rest is gibberish.

Just got back from hangin with the Schultz' who have come to visit Chicago...and I must say that they are just the greatest bunch.

I dont know what to say in my first entry...I feel like this will define whether or not I'll sound like a crazy person or not but hey, it's all good, right?

So I'll just do what I do (best) and start an image posting thang: image of the day...

In serious matters, the Field museum has an exhibit on the evolution of horses and I almost teared up. Horses lead hard lives...and why do they have to look sad all the time. like a puppy. there was a picture of a horse who was killed in battle during the civil war. his owner was leaning over him. also, they make friends with other animals if there are no other horses around...like a cat or a goat...Thats AMAZING!

Speaking of sweet ass animals, have you guys seen Chaser yet? because if you havnt, he was my hero for a day because he could remember the names to 1000 toys!

so I'll end here for now. more to come.

over n out

Magnificent Seven

I've accepted the last contributor that will ever be accepted, and it is Rachel. I live in the same town as her, so I can make her write things.

Calvin, if you don't write anything in the next two weeks, you will be permanently removed from the GSS.

A Little Billy Joel for Ash Wednesday

you catholic girls start much too late

English is dangerous

In Colombia it's pretty common to see people wearing shirts with English words and slogans on them. Usually the shirts say pretty stupid/innocuous things like 'less is more' or 'sexy princess' or '1976 SoCal Surfing Championship'. However, there have been some rather dandy examples of people sporting English embroidered attire without quite understanding what exactly their clothes say. Or maybe they do understand and are just to cool to care. Here are some of the best T-shirts I've seen:

1)I was crammed in a small truck-taxi-thing when a middle aged man wearing a blue and yellow polo got on. I couldn't see out of the truck's window, so the Gothic script on the man's shirt was the most interesting thing to catch my eye. When I realized the man's shirt said 'Waiting for my knight in shining armor' I decided I wouldn't embarrass the dude by translating for him.

2)A teenage kid was walking around with a shirt saying 'Party 'til you're homeless'...he probably knew what it said and I'm just jealous I don't have the same shirt.

3) There aren't a whole lot of obese people in Colombia...there are some 'fat' people, but it's rare to see extremely overweight people. If I learned anything from Mr. Johnson's AP English class, it's that it was 'coincidence' not 'irony' that the first obese Colombian I saw had a shirt which read 'Breakfast & Lunch Happy Hour.'

My mind is pretty much operating on surface level here in Colombia. I spend most of my time thinking about where I'm going to get my next cup of coffee...which is pretty easy because on any given street corner there is someone walking around with a thermos who will pour you a cup for about twenty cents. It's really harsh and is only mildly palatable when saturated with sugar.

Today I bought a cup from a woman who (in an almost incomprehensible Spanish) snarked at me, "Are you a gringo or something?" I told her I was, gave her the money, and walked away trying not to spill my coffee. Many Colombians often use the term 'gringo' to refer to any foreign person (or at least someone who appears to be from the US/Canada or Europe). This really pissed off the European girls I know, who don't want to be accused of being from the United States. It's also unsettling to some American people here, as we commonly understand the term 'gringo' to be an insult. However, based on the conversations I've had with Colombians in Bucaramanga, they don't understand the term to be offensive. It's just a word to describe a foreigner. I've even seen the word casually used in 'Semana', which is essentially the Colombian version of TIME Magazine. The only time I've had a problem with the word is when a high school student of mine called me a gringo in class. I think the real reason it bothered me was because I had already asked this student to quit using 'fuck', 'fuck you' and the N woid.

I really wish I had something deep and insightful to say. For the first time in a while I'm not in a pretentiously intellectual environment and my brain is responding accordingly. Most students here understand university education to be solely preparation for professional life. It's not too common to see literature or philosophy departments. I've gotten used to the subtle look of confusion on peoples' faces when I tell them I majored in 'religion'

Also! Welcome to the blog, Chynna. Even though you haven't made a post yet, you've contributed more than Calvin. Keep up the good work!

I was gonna recommend some songs, but then I got high.

Sam remembered, though, and I now have a small list. Clark pitched in, too, so it won't just be me remembering songs I like that have been on my iPod since high school (just kidding, I didn't have an iPod in high school).

First off, Sam, I told Clark that you have similar taste in music to both myself and our friend Jon, whom you've met and with whom you are now Facebook friends. (Maybe this'll jog your memory: You both have an affinity for corgis.) AND ANYWAY Jon has a COOL MUSIC BLOG that I tried to tell you guys about on Monday, November 22, 2010. (Meta-link! Zing!) Go to him for further instruction if needed, but until then:

O'Death
Myspace-determined genre: folk/indie
Home base: New York
Place and time to listen: being careful not to step on sidewalk cracks
Place and time not to listen: death bed
Sounds vaguely like: Americanized Flogging Molly

Lia Ices
Myspace-determined genre: experimental/pop
Home base: Brooklyn
Place and time to listen: the kitchen at night
Place and time not to listen: a strip club
Sounds vaguely like: someone singing through a mirror

Shahs
Myspace-determined genre: live electronics/tropical/visual
Home base: "Missoula via Minneapolis"
Place and time to listen: The Palace
Place and time not to listen: pretty much literally nowhere
Sounds vaguely like: hot pavement

The Strange Boys
Myspace-determined genre: R&B
Home base: Austin, TX
Place and time to listen: the kind of party where they don't play beer pong
Place and time not to listen: Bible study
Sounds vaguely like: the parts of the 1960s I would have enjoyed
Super bonus: Playing at this year's Fool's Night Out, April 1 at the Badlander!


That's all for now; I'll add more when I have time. Here's an explanation of why I don't have time today. But I still love you!

NEW CONTRIBUTOR!

Chynna has a very odd name and a very smart brain, so she will hopefully not embarrass herself!

Maybe her friends will actually write comments.

I'm Disappointed...

in our Spider-Fans. Why is it that we can count the number of comments we've gotten on this blog on our collective hands and feet?

When we started this, I always imagined it would turn in to a little community. At the very least, a community of our friends. I'll propose two ideas to try and fix this:

1. Almost all of us have outside blogs. We should link to those often. I'll start a link list on the side of the page. Branch out and prosper, GSS!

2. I'd like people to visit here and read this post to tell us what they expect when they read this blog. I think we could all step it up a reasonable amount, content-wise, but right now we never get any incentive to do so.

A bonus number 3. Calvin, it is getting a little embarrassing to see your name on the contributors list but not see any actual contributions from you. Just sayin'.

A little food for thought up in here, in light of the coming of our 10,000 hit.

PS: Good blog. I will try to be more like this guy.

it was professor plum in the bathroom??

hey sam... thanks for putting me on the not idiots list. i love you forever.

update: moved into russell's. it's a bitch trying to figure out what to do with all my stuff and I THREW HALF OF IT AWAY!!!!!! WHAT'S UP WITH THAT???? i'm drunk. it's night time. i'm going to tell you a messed up story.

a few weeks ago we decided to have some friends over at russell's for a small gathering of sorts. there was cheese and wine and we all sat around and discussed america's current political climate. what? you don't believe me? ok fine. we watched beyonce videos on youtube and got wasted. it was fun. jessi mullowney pulled out the fake adhesive mustaches. we drank PBR to our heart's content and i got five stars on the michael jackson wii game.
so the next morning i wake up and have to pee as most people do after a night of merriment. i go into the bathroom, finish my biz, and start looking around for the toilet paper. this next part is graphic so if you are a generally queasy person or have eaten sushi in the last hour, please stop reading here. there was a turd in the bath tub. i repeat: a human turd in the tub. just one. i got up. walked into the room that russell and i now share and our conversation goes as follows:
me: i don't know how to tell you this.
him: is something wrong? what happened?
me: russell..... there is a poo in the tub.
him: ..........
me: no joke. go look.
him: (gets up, goes into the bathroom, comes back to where i'm sitting)
there's a freaking shit in the tub (backwards thrust with thumb motion)
me: i know.
him: who would take a crap in our tub?
me: your guess is as good as mine.

and so he cleaned it up. when jessi and eric (jessi's boyfriend) awoke, we told them, and they laughed. we then started discussing who could have possible pooped in the tub. the thing about this discussion is, it wasn't like we had a rager or anything. everyone there was a trusted friend. there was a lot of speculation that went nowhere, much like the game of clue.
later that day, all of the people who had been over the previous night ended up coming over again seeing as how we made plans to go to norris hot springs. every single one of them got no farther than a foot in the door before we promptly asked them "hey. did you shit in the tub last night?" some of them didn't think we were being serious. most of them laughed. when we got to the hot springs we all decided that this was an unsolved mystery, seeing as how not any of us really remember the end of the night.
afterwards, we all came back to the apartment for one of russell's famous fruit smoothies. we were enjoying our drinks in silence when john said "it could have been anyone in this room." and we all just nodded. that was the end of that. i have not investigated further because i don't really want to know who did it. they would be forever tainted in my memory and since all of them are pretty rad i would really just prefer to remain ignorant. maybe i'm a weirdo. whatevs.

it's cold here. i'm sick of working. i want everyone to come home again. work on that will you guys?

olive out.

A brief word from your Julia

My high school chum Molly Cottrell did a cool thing and I want to tell you! Listen!

She went to school in Denver for vocal performance, gained a following, and recorded and released an EP.

You can download it for free here.

And anyway she's a hottie... sooooo.....