I Demand a Turkey in a Pan

Hello Julia. I need to see this tattoo.

Hello Max. I need you to write a post someday. You are the worst one.

Hello Calvin. You are really actually the worst one.

Hello Rachel. 'Sup? You are probably still asleep because you stayed up watching the Royal Wedding. Why?

Hello Haylee. Do you ever wear headphones but not listen to music so you can eavesdrop on people? I'm doing that right now. I can't decide if I want to hear someone talk about me or what. I guess I just like to spy.

Hello Olive. How's Dexter? I'll be back home in two weeks to steal your dog and your boyfriend.

Hello Chynna. Would you be interested in doing some readings in Butte this summer?

Hello Internet. I've been trying to avoid being on you, but you have far too many fun games. It's almost finals week, which is a time for me to reflect on if my absurdly pricey education is worth it. I'm going to go with yes, it is.

me circa this very second

I think it's a valuable thing because it is teaching me that I am terrific and that other people are just just just awful. In this school I have been surrounded by so many whiney baby-childs that I can never ever again feel worthless. Even at my very lowest, at least I am better than some of these people. The teachers and facilities are top notch. I've grown exponentially as an artist and a thinker. I've developed self-esteem enough to consider myself above certain others. Valuable lessons up in here.

Ironically enough, the root of these people being terrible is a lack of humility. Uniformly, the worst of the worst at SAIC are the kids who hem and haw over every assignment. The ones who deflect criticism and roll their eyes. It's scary/sad how many of these types are around. There's a sense of entitlement here that I never felt in Montana (or anywhere else, for that matter).

Also I met Rachel here. That's worth $700,000 a semester I guess.

The only people to eavesdrop on right now are talking about House MD.

Well,

Here it is.

What Word?

My roommate and I were talking about The Poisonwood Bible, which she just started and I happen to love. Which lead to a discussion of Kerouac (?). Which morphed into Bible talk. She is a kinda-sorta Catholic, and I'm a no-good, usedtobe Christian. She refers to the Old Testament as "the time when God was really mean," and thought that Matthew, Mark, Luke and John were the survivors of some sort of apostle-slaughter that occurred around the same time as the crucifixion. I'm no Bible scholar, but I told her that I had read the Bible through, twice. She asked me when in the world I had time for that.

Here's my confession: My senior year, I graduated early and spent the spring semester losing twenty pounds and reading the Bible. And I made dinner for my parents every night.

Looking back, I think about all of the rad things I could've done with that time. I could've trained for a triathlon (bucketlist item). Or gone to Sasquatch. Or gotten a job. Or applied to more than one college and even more scholarships. Instead, my kitten and I got really close and I found out who I think Jesus really is and renounced organized religion.

(sorry...)

It's kind of cool. Not a lot of people have read the Bible, let alone any other cornerstone religious texts. But I feel I can count myself a conscientious objector to the hypocrisy that I feel runs deep through Christianity. I don't really want to piss anyone off or get into a closed circuit debate, so just consider this. I think Jesus was a real guy. And he was a revolutionary. And I think he wanted people to follow his example so that they would see humanity as a giant community in the hope that everyone would take care of each other. I'm not convinced that he was the Messiah, and my beliefs about God, or some sort of divine manifestation, are still up in the air.

It's Easter, or was, and my childhood memories of sunrise services and resurrection stories have me full of religiosity I guess. My original Bible study pointed me away from Christianity, a place where few practice what they preach.I didn't mean for it to happen that way, and I've calmed down since then. Now, I miss the community of church, a place where, at least on the surface, everyone is there for the same reason. I've been church-hopping lately, but I've mostly found places where face-melting guitar solos and free lattes entice you to become a believer. For now, I guess, I'll stick with the serenity found in meditative solitude by the river, in the gully on the backside of Mt. Jumbo.

Happy soul-searching, GSS. (Everyone's doing it)

HAPPY ZOMBIE JESUS DAY

hey guys... just thought i'd let you all know that i'm celebrating the invention of a creature that would create fads and crappy horror films for hundreds of years to come by sitting at my sister's house with my extended family (all dressed in their sunday best) and we are all going to fucking devour a whole ham. russell is here and he approves.... this is from him:

to any of our new contributors who might subscribe to the whole jesus thing, sorry i guess...

gss for lyfe.

A Giant Spider Society Exclusive!

CALL TO ARTISTS:

SCORIA presents
WHAT HAVE WE HERE (July 1st-31st)
Deadline: 6/1/2011

WHAT HAVE WE HERE is a month-long exhibition which aims to render a new landscape of contemporary artists living in Montana. Opening Friday, July 1st in Uptown Butte’s Historic Phoenix Building and coinciding with the first annual Montana Folk Festival, this exhibit will showcase artists working within a wide range of creative mediums. Submissions may range from painting, illustration, sculpture, and photography to sound, video, and performance art--a multiplicity of both form and content is welcome and encouraged.

Artists are invited to submit at least three samples of work and an artist’s statement (links to the artist’s blog or website are welcome) to scoria.butte@gmail.com. The deadline for all submissions is June 1st, 2011.

SCORIA is an amalgamation of artists, writers, researchers, activists and advocates pooling their talents to create new definitions for work, life, and creativity within Butte, Montana’s post-industrial landscape. We host a residency programs for individuals interested in living and working in Uptown Butte. Our inaugural summer schedule will include Grassroots Mapping projects with artist-in-residence Mathew Lippincott of the Public Laboratory for Open Technology and Science, as well as live music, poetry readings, outdoor film screenings, and a series of community-led lectures.
Our mission is to foster the exchange of ideas across many communities and to discover ways in which those communities can both support and benefit from their most passionate and inquisitive members.
Please write to scoria.butte@gmail.com for more information.

vroom vroom

Hey Everybody! I've been neglecting this blog as of late, and I'm deeply sorry for that. The truth is, and it's going to sound like a cop-out, that I've been to busy(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I'm currently sitting in front of two insanely bright computer displays which are, no doubt, shooting radioactive rays into all parts of my brain and probably making me sterile, trying (somewhat unsuccessfully) to storyboard a portion of a feature-length film I'm writing about a chain smoking Evel Knievel type. I'm listening to the same Billy Joel-heavy playlist I've been listening to for months. I guess I can only concentrate when I'm being assured that working too hard can give you a heart attack-ack-ack-ack (iTunes tells me I've listened to Anthony's Song 61 times).

I've got almost exactly a month left of working absurdly hard until the wee hours, and then I can be a drunken roustabout again. That's really all I want. I've proven to myself that I can create adequate artistic output. Now I want the freedom to do it on my own terms, in my own space, and maybe with ample whisky-soda breaks. (Now Huey Lewis. I'm feeling the power of love)

Things that make me happy right now:

this little kid

Mortal Kombat II

I saw a DeLorean today, in full Back to the Future time-machine decor

This documentary on workplace harassment

Rachel :3

Karaoke (Butte needs a karaoke bar not infested with meth-addled zombies, no?)

Now I'm getting distracted by the Wu-Tang and can't write anymore.

Briefly

Clark is getting two tattoos on, "coincidentally," April 20. The first is a turkey in a pan.

A turkey in a pan?

Yes. A turkey in a pan. His friend Chris, with whom he's going to the parlor on 4/20, is going to draw it for him and it'll be some kind of "bonding" experience. But still.

Don't worry, he's thought about it thoroughly.

The second, which Chris is also designing, and is getting a matching one so they can be twinzies, is a Jet Life logo. You see, there's this rapper, Curren$y, that Clark and Chris (and a number of our other friends, including myself) are vaguely obsessed with. He has some sort of company and/or organization called Jets... which I haven't been able to totally figure out, but they do have a clothing line and a number of other things. And as far as I can tell, a large part of them calling themselves the Jets is because they get hiiiiiiighhhhhhh all the time. Like, as high as the sky, or, as he says in one of my favorites: "High off this purple shit/ No lie, I'm flyin. I'm so roasted."

Curren$y really appreciates the finer things in life, namely weed, ping-pong, and ladders, unlike other rappers, who have much shallower pursuits.

So yeah Clark and Chris have huge crushes this guy, and plan to brand themselves forever as Jets themselves. Maybe they'll feel sheepish when Curren$y comes to town in a few weeks (!), and maybe they won't. I guess we'll just have to see.

Summerly summer

A moment of internet silence for Chynna's dog.

Sam and I have about a month left here in the big city then we'll be coming to Montana for the summer. I'm looking forward to actually having a summer: as in doing summerly things like walking in grass barefoot, swimming in pools, and bbq-ing outside. Yes, Cali has the beach but that can get lame real fast. sand all up in yo junk and seagulls eyeing your food.

This one is calling out for backup

We've taken up geocaching, which is a pretty sweet thing. It's like theres a whole other world underneath our noses we don't know about. And then when you find a geocache it's like you are linked to other people who have also found one. yeh yeh I know it sounds kinda cheese-ball but I sure get excited when we find one.

So yeh, Sam and I are modern day treasure hunters, pretty soon he’ll be wearing some sort of adventure hat and I’ll get us trapped in a pit or something. Maybe.

Signed up for fall classes, its back to the 15 unit grind next year. Hitchcock will become my personal best friend in one class while I’ll be competing in how to make art books against Sam in the other class.

Kinda like this but the darker one has boobs

I think that’s all for now…

over n out.

etcetera

My dog died over the weekend. I'm really sad and wish that I wasn't in school in Montana. I had a 2week SB that made me wish I was 14. But now I'm here and there's 4 weeks left and a teacher gave me a C and told me that I have some of the most beautiful poetic language she's seen.

I'm all confused and unsettled. I wish I wasn't.

Here, as promised, is a poem. Not my own, but Mary Oliver's:

Ordinarily I go to the woods alone, with not a single

friend, for they are all smilers and talkers and therefore

unsuitable.

I don't really want to be witnessed talking to the catbirds

or hugging the old black oak tree. I have my way of

praying, as you no doubt have yours.

Besides, when I am alone I can become invisible. I can sit

on the top of a dune as motionless as an uprise of weeds,

until the foxes run by unconcerned. I can hear the almost

unhearable sound of the roses singing.

If you have ever gone to the woods with me, I must love

you very much.

-How I Go to the Woods

And here's a lovely ending to an E.E.Cummings poem:

(dreaming,

et

cetera,of

Your smile

eyes knees and of your Etcetera)

Chynna

P.S. I am not really as sensitive and emotional as I have painted myself in my posts thus far. I promise.

P.P.S. Samwell, do you have info on this summer for me yet? I'm makin' plans...

IMMA coming Pa

Hey!
So I'm Haylee, apparently now eighth (seventh?) contributor to the GSS. Or something. I've known Julia since the womb, I've met Sam off and on, and I don't know who Calvin is but I've been reading this blog for a year and think he may actually just be the imaginary friend Sam has always dreamed of having.
My last blog has only one post, and it's a list of things I'm good at, which includes "walking like Johnny Depp" and "imagining butterscotch pudding."
I promise to step my game up and show my appreciation at being included in this venerable publication.

Giant Girl Society

Our eight (and probably final) contributor is Haylee, or somethingdonutwhatever. She lives in either Ellensburg or Seattle, WA. I'm not really sure. She's really smart, I think, so she'll probably make me look terrible.

I'm thinking I'll open up Calvin's space for another guy to join who will actually write something. Any ideas?

Spring Break

These are all the things I considered titling this post and didn't, and why I didn't:

Spring Break 2011: boring
Spring Breakout: copyright infringement
Spring Ballzout: I didn't end up going to that concert
Spring Breakup: didn't happen, didn't want to worry anyone
Spring Breakfast: did happen, but still boring

How about a nice hot plate of Spring Break Special, whatever that means.

So here is the spring break news, now that it's almost over and I have to restructure my life around alarm clocks and planned meal times again.

Seattle is still great, but still too big, and Haylee is still awful at giving directions, but her new apartment is awesome. We got our gas siphoned on Capitol Hill and bottomless hashbrowns (made with butter and love, as the trivet in my mother's kitchen says all things should be) at Beth's Cafe on Aurora, neither of which were activities we had planned on doing.

My parents' vegetable garden is ready for action. This year the fertilizer was equal parts horse manure, cow manure, and sawdust (which, oddly enough, is the same thing people in Ellensburg put in their coffee) and made the bed warm and rich.

Clark has a blog now. It is new as of today or yesterday or something so there's not a lot to it yet, but it's basically an online resumé, where you'll be able to hear what he produces for bands and a couple radio stations in town. In case you wanted to.... hire him.... or just look at his handsome yellow face all day long.

Have any of you guys read The God-Damned Giver? Or A Wrinkle in Time? If you have, how come you didn't tell me to do so before now? If you haven't, why haven't you? Those are really good books! I think I like science fiction! (Cue confetti, parades, and press conferences if you wish but I still will not be reading Hyperion.)

Despite, or perhaps because of, her poor sense of direction, Haylee has expressed interest in joining the illustrious Giant Spider Society, largely due to the fact that she spends most of her days in front of a computer, somewhat similar to Olive circa July 2010. If she ends up writing for us, we can expect some or all of the following: feminism, dumpster diving successes and failures, tales about her newly pseudo-adopted cats East and West, Yiddish, weird vegetarian recipes, hints about where to get tea in Seattle, updates on "grad school," and stories that begin with (though not annoyingly so) "When I was in [insert foreign country name here]....."

Russell's whole familia is in the living room....

so i'm hiding in jessi's room listening to her tell stories to carl about tiny asian guys hitting on her in the bar....

good start. hey guys!!!!!! i know i have not posted in a while. i feel uber lazy and dumb as of lately. i think it's because the sky are all grey and shit.... ALL THE TIME!!! but i went to missoula for the last two days and saw my friend joel and got the tattoo on my hip finished. so that is exciting. he is a really rad artist and he always inspires me to draw more... so that is what i am going to be doing. maybe i will post pictures on here or my sad and abandoned other blog. i think that is all i have to say as of right now. i have to go to the museum of the rockies with the o'leary clan later and look at some frogs. no shit.

bonus: i recently found out i have no idea how to manage a touch screen phone. i like buttons.

sam i love you and i can't wait for you to come home with your hawt latina girlfriend.

max: ^^^ the same, maybe even with a hawt latina girlfriend that is not sam's hawt latina girlfriend.

julia: you are awesome and one day we will be more than internet friends. please?

rachel: teach me how to cuss in spanish.

gss fo lyfe!!!!!!!