it's no shave november!

i expect all of our male contributors to post pictures of their progress, and in return, i won't. (this clause exempts calvin seeing as how he could not grow facial hair if he tried really really hard and used lots of rogaine on his face.)

i know you guys will never be as awesome as these guys, but give it a go for testicular cancer awareness and my enjoyment.... ok mostly my enjoyment but we can hide it under the testicular cancer guise to keep some of your dignity intact.

this is a picture of bill murray with a mustache

on a sadder note, i had to leave sam in chicago. i would have stayed but i have a dog in montana that i could not bear to part with and none of my friends are responsible enough to get him on a plane safely. poo. he does have one really cool roommate who told him that russ and i are beautiful (tee hee) and one not so cool room mate who wears lots of red flannel and watches sports center all day long. but his hawt latina girlfriend makes up for it. russell tried to get us all killed halloween night by inappropriately high-fiving gangsters, but before that we all sang karaoke and got real drunk at some sort of karaoke bar where the dj sang purple rain and it was the coolest thing i have ever witnessed in my life. pictures are up on facebook for those of you who are interested. i got to see a real live shark at the shedd aquarium and almost pooped myself, but luckily there were sea horses to save the day. all in all chicago is pretty rad.

i'm thinking about quitting the cigarettes, but like most things in my life i will more than likely abandon this idea within the week.

gss tattoo coming soon. promise.

MEGA FAUNA!

Hey GIANT SPIDER SOCIETY! I was walking home today and I found a GIANT STICK BUG!

This ferocious beast did absolutely nothing for like 15 minutes so after I took a billion pictures of him/her I peaced out, ever so certain that we would never cross paths again. Actually, he/she is still probably chilling out in the same place. The background in the photo isn't a tree. It's some iron post-modern art thing. Sam would have real opinions about it.

Julia, congratulations on two legitimate blog posts. If we were all as dedicated as you this blog would be off the charts. But you didn't mention Bill Murray.

Bill Murray Bill Murray. Giant Spider Society Loves Bill Murray. Bill Murray.

I miss you guys. My diet here mainly consists of fried bananas.

One more thing

Elvis Costello came out with a new album that I have not listened to and probably won't ever. It didn't even make it into the KBGA library.... straight to trash bin.

You're gonna get weak ankles if you keep standing like that, E.

Also I have the first couple seasons of SNL and Elvis Costello has the single worst performance in all of it.

Anyway this is merely a warning to Sam so he wears things on his head so his ears and ass don't bleed all over Chicago before I get a chance to see it.

I forget

A couple days ago I thought several times "I should blog about that," but I've since forgotten everything I was going to say in cyberspace. I shall, instead, relay to you the same kind of nonsense I usually shit all over this page.

First order of business: Painting our house has progressed but mildly. Cheddar went out to pick a color for the livingroom and texted me while I was at work "Im goin with a blue green." I thought "Well, it's no Italian Buff but we'll see how it looks." I got home to a blue green unlike what I expected (relatively neutral, soothing, and easy to coordinate with everything else). It was... teal. This color teal:

Thank you, Chet.

"Wow, Cheddar," I said. "That's what you meant by blue-green, huh?"
"I called my mom and I think she led me in the right direction...."
"But you got lost along the way?"
"I'm COLORBLIND!"

Fuck. The name of the paint is LITERALLY "LaFonda Teal." Even colorblind people should know that shit's ridiculoos.

I managed to convince him to only do the accent walls and this weekend we're doing the rest in "Colonial Cream," which should mellow it out a bit. The kitchen will be "Golden Tulip" with "Colonial Cream" and Matt did the main floor bathroom (by that I mean sort of did the main bathroom... including the inside of the shower....???) in "Someone Ate a Raincloud Then Took a Dump All Over These Walls... And Shower...."

It's lookin good.

For those who wish to know, mainly Olivia, my Halloween was the most boring Halloween possible (except for all the boring Halloweens my 30-something friends had individually). We went to a party (I, a sunflower, Clark, a giant joint) but turned in pretty early. To clarify: slept in the KBGA bus, which wasn't wholly uncomfortable, just smelled like gasoline. And Clark's face was green and we were both on a twin mattress... real spooky.

Clark, my black girlfriend
(Just kidding I am racist I would never date a black girl)

Good news is that sixth-graders are way cooler than I remember them being. Or remember being. Bad news is they think Chuck Norris actually did all those things and his "autobiography" counts as a novel. Whatever. I got to tell some other chumps about House of the Scorpion and Holes. YA Lit is such a freaking cool thing to read for homework, by the WAY.

Ummmmm otherwise, Clark is in the northern Montana wilderness recording an album for a week and I am ridiculously lonely as a result, so I'm going to find some more children's novels to console my bitter heart.

Happy Halloween to All Our Spider Pals and Bill Murray!!!!!!!

google "bill murray spider"

do it. we are the 5th and 6th hits on google. so if there is anyone in the world who is wondering if bill murray is afraid of arachnids, they won't find their answer, they will find sam ranting about avatar and crying about how max left. which i think is better. jussayin. 5,000 hits? dang. how is everyone" personal blogs doing? not as good? yeah, me either. i guess we just bring the brilliant out in each other. or maybe i just bring the brilliant out in all of you. bahahahahaaahahahahaha. suck it.

max, you can't be batman. sam has replaced you. you'll get em next year kid.

julia... i am ever so curious as to what you're being for the upcoming festivities. enlighten me prease.

sam, once again. pee. holy fucking shit balls i'm going to see you in less than seven days!

caaaaaaaaaaaalvin. write about the revolution or something. write about you're cat's licking patterns, anything.... i miss your musk.

i'm being michael jackson from the bad album cover. fuck you guys, it's so cool.

Bienvenidos from just north of equator

Re: Halloween. Colombians celebrate just like we do in the USA. As far as I can tell, the holiday has literally been transported piece by piece. There are even all these signs and banners around that say 'Happy Halloween'...no one has even tried to translate it. I'm playing in a Halloween -costume ultimate Frisbee tournament , but our team hasn't decided on our costume theme yet. I'll keep you posted. Main thing is I'm super sad I won't be in Chicago with you guys :(

Bill Murray Bill Murray Bill Murray Bill Murray

Here are some things I would like to say about Colombia:

1) It's spelled ColOmbia...not ColUmbia. Just sayin'.

2) There are ants all over my house...they dig holes in the kitchen counter and crawl around under my key board. And as I've started to write this blog post, I've been bitten by like three mosquitoes.

3) Today was my last class working with nurses at the medical school. I had them debate about which patient they would choose to give medical treatment to ( a sick baby or an international aid worker who needed a vaccine ASAP to go help with a foreign crisis). I thought it would be a good way for them to practice English but it just turned into a Spanish screaming match. The baby-team won.

4) I went hiking the other day and got slightly lost. I DID NOT get kidnapped or step on a land mine...but when I got back I got a lecture about getting kidnapped or stepping on a land mine.

5) TV shows Colombians like: The Simpsons, Big Bang Theory, Modern Family and Two and a Half Men. I guess I should start watching TV again so I can relate to my students better. Modern Family has been pretty funny so far but I can't bring myself to watch Two and a Half Men.

6) Colombia is North of the equator.

Bill Murray Bill Murray Bill Murray Bill Fuckin' Murray Bill Murray

I wish I had something funny or witty to say. But I don't.

I miss you all and I want you to come to Colombia because beer is only 80 cents a bottle and I bought a potato and steak shiskcabob (spelling?) on my drunken stumble home the other night. Wish you were all here stumbling with me :( Ok, I'll quit being emo and go back to whatever important thing I was doing before Sam reminded me that I should write on the blog.