Greetings from California!

Well, the time is nearing where I will fly back to Chicago but I figure I write from here so that maybe some California sunshine will warm our blog up.

See, it's still green over here.

First of all I'd like to say, Happy New Year to all the readers and spiders out there. I'm not gonna do much tonight, I'll be drinking some cranberry vodkas, counting down, and hopefully try to convince my city friends to play some good'ol Werewolves of Millers Hallow. This is because I love that game and I have Montana to thank for that.

Yesterday I went to a party/gathering of yelling people for a UFC fight. There were enchiladas, a very fast acting referee, and a very interestingly decorated cake involved.

Usually when I come back to California I have a checklist of things that need to be done:

• In N Out (is a must because there is no better burger than In N Out, I dont give a fuck what anyone says I will stand by their toasted buns, freshly cut fries, and simplistic menu.)

• Disneyland (it's the happiest place on earth, duh. Sam may say that Disneyworld has a better castle and scarier Tower of terror, but hey, Disneyland is the OG in the OC.)

• Shorts in the winter (yes, yes, yes. California can be boring as shit if you dont have a car but you can at least wear shorts and skirts when the east coast is wearing down coats)
• Play with dog (I know, this only applies to me but look how adorable she is:)

I've pretty much got all of them checked off.

Also, in earlier news. Sam and I rode the Christmas train and it was literally the ride of my life. When the train rolled up it smelled like Christmas. The inside was packed like sardines, but the seats had Christmas fabric on it. The ads were'nt ads because they were Christmas jokes.

Over and Out

For now.

Happy Yule!

The days are now officially getting longer.

You gotta love livin', baby, cause dyin' is a pain in the ass.

She tells me, I'm scared.

She just got done with an intense round of chemo. She finds out the results after the new year.

She tells me, I worry every day. I play "what if?" all day long.

She has 2 kids, 11 and 16. They do not have a dad, only a man, somewhere in town, with their same last name and a very short temper.

She tells me, I can't drink alcohol, it makes me sick. I ask her if it has always been this way. Yes. That's probably a good thing, I say. No. She wishes that it wasn't so. She wishes she had had more fun in her life. Like, real fun, she tells me. The kind of fun where you raise some hell and get yourself in and out of trouble.

I think we should throw a party for New Year's . It's my mom's birthday. Everyone could use some fun. No, she says. I'm too worried.

But what she's most worried about, besides bad news, is being in a funk and spoiling everyone else's mood. That's the way she's felt throughout her fight. She never complains. Even when she passes out standing at the counter, even when I direct her to her bed, she mutters lists of "to-dos," mumbling, I'll be fine, go, go.

I work with people who are in pain. I work with people who don't have all of their toes, who cannot snap their own bras, who cannot sleep through the night. I work with a woman who doesn't know if she will wake up tomorrow morning. But you know, I love it, what I do. I love being a part of these sufferer's journeys. To some, I am a sounding board. I can sometimes make the old ladies laugh, sometimes hold the kids when they cry. To some, I am a pain relief. The things I bring them release them from their lives. To some, I am just another shoulder to help them carry their load.

I am in a weird place in my life, working with a very grumpy, angry, sad population of people. But their unique insights on life, the joy that they have learned to derive from what I perceive as trivial, have made me a tiny bit wiser, stronger and happier to live this life I have.

Turns Out the Muppets Are Still Awesome

We saw the new Muppet movie, entitled The Muppets, this weekend. Good move on our part. Basically the Muppets rule because they don't age or try to go "serious" or whatever, and just spend decades and decades being extremely silly and extremely heartwarming. This movie was great, classic Muppet style, celebrating teamwork, singing, love, and the rainbow connection.

Best of all, it has the Fox Business Network's panties in a twist.

The basic plot of the movie is that an evil oil baron, aptly named Tex Richman and played wonderfully by Chris Cooper, has plotted to buy the Muppet studios, tear it down, and drill for oil where the buildings stand. Jason Seigel, Amy Adams, and Seigel's inexplicably puppet-like brother Walter (who, it turns out, is an incredible whistler), go find Kermit so they can get the rest of the gang back together for ONE LAST SHOW, as they say, to raise money to buy the studio back in time, yada yada yada. They live Muppetly ever after.

Fox's beef is that because the villain is an oil baron, Disney is brainwashing our children (America's children, I don't have any children) to be anti-oil, anti-corporations, and anti-America. Clark actually mentioned this as we were leaving the theater, mentioning his appreciation for the subtle nod towards environmentalism. Apparently not subtle enough for Fox (nothing is, really). I don't have anything really articulate or smart to say on the matter; my ridiculous meter for the Fox network blew up several years ago so I can't even think about how to respond. While we're here, though: the fact that they can't find anything else to talk about besides the supposed subliminal Communist messages in Disney movies drums up very little confidence, in, like, society in general or something. It's as if Fox News has finally graduated to the 7th grade, and will soon find out that someone whispers "Take of your clothes" in that scene in Aladdin.

It was them who whispered it.

And, for the record, there were bunches of little kids, ages ranged probably three to nine, and I don't think any of them know what the word "baron" means, or what oil is, or even Texas, for that matter, so it's hard to believe they'll take any stock in the bad guy in this movie (who, by the way, raps (?)), besides the fact that he's the bad guy, and scary music plays when he's on screen. They were just there to giggle at Fozzie's fart shoes and Miss Piggy hitting her head on the desk. It was a freaking Muppet movie, Fox, so stop trying to ruin our childhoods.

sorry to disappoint yo

much like one of my literary heroes Chuck Klosterman.... all i ever feel motivated to write about are things that piss me off, the general decay of society, and the different self-destructive methods i use in order to cope with all of the afore-mentioned things. get ready for a christams rant: coming soon to the GSS near you. as for thanksgiving... i really am going to miss my sister's down home cooking, and this year can blow me because even though i went to a pot luck at the shop that i currently work in, i dropped my new iphone in a glass of wine and i think that some lushy poltergeist now resides in one of the wires because my phone now randomly calls two people : my old boss at the coffee shop, and my old boss at a tattoo shop that i am no longer on good terms with. i can't really be mad at this ghosty living in my phone because i would probably do the exact same thing. i'm an asshole like that. also, sam, max, and rachel left for alabama to go give thanks with harriet (sam's mum) and will be gone until sunday. i am to spend this day all on my lonesome and i'm pretty bitter about it. at least i have my dog, right? i do get to go home for christmas, which i am balls excited about. not the christmas part, but being able to go home and see everyone that i hold near and dear and finish several tattoos that i started before coming out here. i am sending one of my fliers to my girlfriend shayna in preparation so that hopefully i can get mad business when i'm home and i won't have to stay in montana and live in my sister's basement.

business at the shop has been hella-slow and i don't really know what to do about it. i drew a dope ass flyer:

and hopefully this will bring me lots and lots of people who think i am a rad artist and are willing to let me ink them forevers. other than whining about how much peanut butter i don't have, i have been drawing quite a bit, so that's productive (i guess). i know that when summer hits i'll do an about face and have lots of wonderful things to tell you about but for right now i'm sticking to my original formula.

i'm fore-going shout outs because nobody responds anyway.

olive out

This Looks Medium Interesting

It appears as though my former coworker and frequent high-fiver Dave is putting together some kind of project called Long Time Comin' - Lost Sounds From the Treasure State. I don't know whether the end goal is a compilation CD or a set of CDs or a zine or a documentary or what, but I figured since all of you have at least heard of Montana you might be of some help. They are looking for recordings and photos and whatnot, so if you have anything of interest (but certainly not of value) direct it towards Dave on the ol' FB or maybe this blog, which is possibly related. He is a good man.

For example, George Dennison of The Starfires, circa 1962.


This came up in the same google search?????

Good luck. Hopefully Bill Murray had a band in Butte called the Singing Kings and we'll be so famous on Dave's project for discovering that.

Bill Murray in his Starfires cover band, The Copper Fires, circa 1992.

P.S. What the fuck is happening to this blog? Remember when everything wasn't all whiney and separated by weeks and weeks of inactivity? Sam, I demand you to be funny.

Mini Food Revolution, Or Shape Up or Ship Out You Lazy Punks

To put it bluntly and overly simply, I'm disappointed in my generation. I'm disappointed in the degradation of punctuation and grammar that's leaked from the internet to essays and novels. I'm disappointed in cell phones that make it okay for people to be late because they can send a quick text: "on my way sry lolz :)" I'm also disappointed I was 18 before I started sewing buttons back on myself.

This guy knows what I'm talking about. Didn't even tie that tie himself. Lol.

Not that I'd trade my life with someone 50 or 100 years ago. The internet and communication technology and sewing machines and moms do wonderful things for us and for society- this is undeniable. The shifts in language show it's a living, growing thing, and makes it all the more fascinating to speak and study. Computers in offices and classrooms have provided immense benefits for people all over the world. And despite the widespread social and physical injustices that come with industrialism, factories, and worst of all, sweat shops, having affordable, durable clothing made by machines means we can actually live in live in them and wear them out and then get replacements, instead of spending our time in castle towers "embroidering," or whatever. Progress is progress, right?

The food, however, has not progressed. Everything is processed and squeezed and frozen and dyed so much it's hardly even food anymore, and it's an uphill battle trying to find food that's produced locally or even semi-locally. My peers eat frozen pizza, corn dogs, and bagels, and we're fat and grouchy because of it. And nobody knows how to cook.

True story.

When I arrive at a party with a loaf of zuchinni bread in hand, or a friend drops in to see me making alterations an incredible West African Peanut Soup recipe, they're stunned. They say, "How do you do that? How do you know how to do that? What are you doing? What's vegetables?" and teeter over onto our hideous couch. I revive them to say, "It's science," and send them on their way with full bellies and functioning arteries.

This isn't to say that I'm a foodie or -- God forbid -- vegan or anything. I just like too cook. I'm fortunate enough to have a functioning kitchen, a few cookbooks, and a little common sense, and prefer to spend money on real food instead of chemicals. By cooking my own meals, I can control how much sodium, sugar, and fat (and what kinds) I put into my body; I can support local farmers and independent, local grocery stores; I can experiment with flavor and expand my palate; and, best of all, I can spend time in a warm kitchen with people I love. I get to watch my mom fold chocolate into a creamy espresso truffle, Whittaker nibble at a spoonful of cheese sauce, and Clark pour over his family cookbook, hunting for something else to do with apples. It seems like the benefits in knowing your way around the kitchen are endless, even beyond the nutritional ones, and it's disappointing that more people my age haven't picked up on it.

So I am here to help. At least a little bit.

First of all, to get some basic knowledge down, I'd recommend either The Joy of Cooking or the Fannie Farmer Boston Cooking-School Cook Book. Both are loaded with pages of basic cooking tips, including stuff like how to prepare pumpkin or stuff a turkey or peel garlic, alongside hundreds of reliable recipes. Second, some other totally bomb collections I've used one billion times are The Moosewood Cookbook, Betty Crocker's Cooky Book, and, believe it or not, church publications from the midwest. Once you get past the four hundred the jello "salad" recipes in any given version, they're great resources for things like cakes, quick breads, and squirrel. Third, here are three things I think every budding chef chould know:
1. When sauteing, wait for the pan to get totally warmed up before dropping in your chicken or onion or whatever, so the food doesn't stick to the pan.
2. Bread products are done when a toothpick inserted into the middle comes out clean.
3. It's okay to guess and experiment with things like soups and sauces, but measurements need to be exact when baking, because the chemical properties of things like eggs, baking soda, and yeast are finicky. Doing steps out of order, even, can alter a recipe. So these things seem like common sense, but I bet if you did a random survey, very few people would know this shit. It's crazy, right? Are you getting how crazy this is yet?

And now the good part! Recipes! I have been cooking a lot this fall, partially because our neighbors have been generous with their harvests and partially because I have extra time compared to last year. Here are some good harvest-time it's-chilly-out-of-doors-time foods that are pretty bomb and pretty easy. I expect a report back. And also, the formatting is fucked up but I can't/don't feel like fixing it.

Macaroni and Cheese

This is Whittaker's contribution to Thanksgiving every year, and some years it's hard to eat turkey this macaroni is so good.

1 lb macaroni

4 c shredded sharp cheddar

1 c grated Parmesan

6 c milk

½ c butter

5 T flour

Topping

2 T butter

½ c bread crumbs

Pinch of paprika

1 tsp mustard powder

1. Cook macaroni and drain.

2. Melt butter over medium heat. Stir in enough flour to make a roux. Add milk to roux slowly, stirring constantly. Stir in cheeses, and cook over low heat until cheese is melted and the sauce begins to thicken. Put macaroni in large casserole dish, and pour sauce over macaroni. Stir well.

3. Melt butter in a skillet over medium heat. Add breadcrumbs and brown. Spread over macaroni and cheese. Sprinkle with a little paprika.

4. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.

Gooey Apple Cake

A winner every time, but can get a little messy. And you may not omit nuts- the crunch is essential.

8 T butter, divided

1 ½ c sugar

1 egg

2 c flour

1 t baking soda

½ cinnamon

¼ t salt

2 large tart apples, chopped

1 c walnuts, chopped

2 t cornstarch

¼ c evaporated milk

1 t lemon juice

1 t vanilla extract

1. Cream 5 T butter and 1 c sugar. Add egg and beat well. Stir in flour, baking soda, cinnamon, salt, apples and walnuts. Batter will be stiff. Spoon into greased 9x9 pan, and smooth top. Bake at 350 degrees about 35 minutes.

2. Combine remaining butter and sugar, cornstarch, and evaporated milk in a saucepan; bring to a boil over medium heat. Boil 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Remove from heat; stir in lemon juice and vanilla. Pour over hot cake. Serve warm.

West African Peanut Soup

Makes a huge quantity and freezes well.

2 c chopped onions

1 T oil (I use olive)

1/2 t cayenne or other ground dried chiles

1 t grated peeled fresh ginger root

1 c chopped carrots

2 c chopped sweet potatoes

4 c vegetable stock or water

2 c tomato juice or canned diced tomatoes

1 cu smooth peanut butter

1 T sugar (optional)

1 c chopped scallions or chives

1. Saute the onions in the oil until just translucent. Stir in the cayenne and fresh ginger. Add the carrots and saute a couple more minutes. Mix in the sweet potatoes and stock or water, bring the soup to a boil, and then simmer for about 15 minutes, until the vegetables are tender.
2. In a blender or food processor (or with one of those "cool hand-held soupifyer beater stick things," to use my mother's sophisticated terminology), puree the vegetables with the cooking liquid and the tomato juice. Return the puree to a soup pot. Stir in the peanut butter until smooth.
3. Taste the soup. Its sweetness will depend on the sweetness of the carrots and sweet potatoes. If it’s not there naturally, add just a little sugar to enhance the other flavors.
4. Reheat the soup gently, using a heat diffuser if needed to prevent scorching. Add more water, stock or tomato juice for a thinner soup. Serve topped with plenty of chopped scallions or chives. Also if the cayenne is good and hot you might want a small dollop of sour cream floating in the bowl. Chopped unsalted dry roasted peanuts make a nice garnish too.


Zucchini Bread
This is the very best recipe for zucchini bread I've found, and is a great base for banana bread, pumpkin bread, applesauce bread, or whatever moist mashed item you happen to have.
3 c flour
1 t salt
1 t baking powder
1 t soda
3 t cinnamon
3 eggs
1 c oil
2 1/4 c sugar
3 t vanilla
2 c grated zucchini
1 c nuts
1. Stir together dry ingredients. Set aside.
2. Beat together eggs, oil, sugar and vanilla.
3. Add dry ingredients and mx thoroughly. Stir in zucchini and nuts.
4. Pour batter into 2 greased and floured loaf pans, then sprinkle with brown sugar.
5. Bake at 325 degrees for 1 hour.


Cheesy Onion Rolls
Made this dip for a party a few weeks ago, and people flipped. It even pleased Bill, who had said, "I don't know why people go so crazy for dip. Dip's not even a food." Now it's the biggest section of his food pyramid, right after PBR.
3-4 c chopped onion
1/4 c chopped garlic
1 T butter
1 c mayonnaise (sounds gross, but bear with me)
2 c grated Parmesan
sourdough rolls or a baguette or two, sliced in half

1. Saute onion and garlic together in butter over medium heat until caramelized.
2. Stir onions and garlic with mayo and Parmesan until mixed thoroughly and cheese begins to melt a little bit.
So that's the dip. You can serve it with crackers or whatever, OR spread it onto rolls or a baguette then bake em until just slightly golden for a more serving-specific approach.


I think that'll do it for now, right? When the time comes, I'll let you all know my hot buttered rum recipe. But until then, happy cooking!