Getting Fat with...

happy effing thanksgiving bloggers/readers/ those unfortunate souls who happened to stumble this page. now i could go off on a well-deserved rant about pilgrim and indians and rights and suffrage that eventually followed...wait. what? yeah, not going to happen. but what DID happen yesterday is that i stuffed my face hole. twice. and then i had pie. to tell you the truth by this time i was kind of getting sick of pumpkin, and i could have really gone for a slice of chocolate cheesecake... but my sister, in some sort of stroke of passive agressive-ism or selfish genius NEVER TOOK IT OUT OF THE FREEZER. so i was stuck with pumpkin. but i globbed so much freaking cool whip on it it could have been not pumpkin....just a big glob of cool whip i guess.

i honestly did try to help with the cooking, but my sisters and the head chef (i.e. my older sister's baby daddy) seemed to have collectively decided before i got there that all i was to be trusted with was the mashed potatoes. and even then after i got done peeling them all decided that my cognitive abilities stopped there and took over, whisking me out of the kitchen with promises of disney movies in the back room. so i sent the remainder of the day drinking wine, sneaking bits of food when backs were turned, listening to sister's baby daddy scream about how worthless the cowboys are this year, and diffusing arguments before they could turn into world war three and ruin my ever having any chance of turkey and green bean casserole. we had planned on taking a bunch of family photos but i think we waited too long and by the time everyone congested into the living room my youngest sister had chaged into her sweat pants, her son was screaming about his buzz lightyear toy half way across the room and my one and only niece refused to stay in her dress, so we put the kibosh on that idea real quick which is all good and well with me.
and russell showed up and that part was uneventful... mostly because i held a super-secret meeting with my family before-hand and told them to behave in what most people would consider a "normal manner" . it seems to have fooled him....for now. and then we got home and watched that weird al star wars song which was still awesome. and when i woke up this morning the poo i took has to be what having a baby feels like. especially after a bowl of granola. AND TONIGHT I GET TO GO TO BUTTE AND SEE SAM AND RACHEL AND GET REALLY DRUNK WITH THEM. but for the whole day i will be over and afore-mentioned sister's house helping er with all of those pesky left overs.

sam. see you tonight, much later than i would like because russell is stoopid.

julia.... thanks for making the rest of us look legit.

max.... i hope you got some semblance of turkey and trimmings yesterday.

calvin.... wtf.