wow holy crap balls.
i guess we are all having our own versions of twilight zone-ism right now. julia's shit is all fuxed up. sam is wrapping his head around finally accepting how awesome he is. max is in a foreign fucking country teaching illiterates how to be literate (and with a rockin new hair cut at that) and me, well i'm just kind of floating. so while you guys are being all productive and shit... i spend the majority of my day pondering what's next, but never really doing anything about it.
there is an art to floating, river and otherwise. i feel like i have perfected my river floating techniques this year seeing as how i have not lost one pack of cigarettes to the water gods of the madison. not fucking one. and i can sing as loud as i want to on the river because everyone around me is drunk and either don't care, or will join me in a rousing rendition of "rocket man" even if they have to mumble some verses because they don't know the words. i have had many good floats this year. most of them involve my friend shayna, whom i call red or kitten interchangeably. here is a story involving her:
two or three weeks ago i woke up to a text message (which was around noon because i am a lazy, jobless a-hole) that read "float. dolphins. chloe. two." which i could only surmise meant that chloe was going to ride a dolphin down the river at two. then i started to wonder where chloe even got a dolphin? maybe it's a manatee and kitten couldn't spell manatee so she just substituted dolphin? but where in the fuck did they get a manatee????
i arrived at kitten's house to find that she and chloe were in fact constructing some sort of sea-craft out of blow up dolphins, an inflatable mattress, swimming noodles and duct tape. seriously. we videotaped it. it took them almost forty five minutes to make. red rode it down the river in what she refers to as an "adventure skirt" (which i can only guess is the skirt she has sex in) and smoked stogies and looked steazy as hell the whole way. only at the end when she decided that the craft probably wasn't the fantastic idea that she had thought it was several hours ago, did the integrity of the boat start to compromise itself. we like to think the SS triple C had a consciousness. it was probably just the duct tape being eroded away. nonetheless. we made it. and that damn thing is still shoved in the back of red's car.
as for life floating. well let's just say that indecisive is my middle name. and i have no idea what to do about it. hopefully the next time i write things will be a little clearer for me in that sense, but for now, thinking about where my life might be headed gives me gut rot. and i just ate a corn dog. from the microwave. which probably explains the gut rot.
russell oleary is terrifyingly awesome.
i might have a job at a tattoo shop.
i also might have a job at a coffee shop.
my insurance company employs only people who have an IQ of 38 or lower.
it seems like everyone around me is going through some sort of shift in their lives. i feel this year will be a year of change. in all the best ways.
sam, can't wait to see you on thursday.
julia, hope everything gets better for you man.
max, i don't think you are a judas just because your new blog is in english so i can read it. but i might not make you a t-shirt.
i'm thinking about a new tattoo?
posted by yours truly
the shit.
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