$%@#

I think we killed it, GSS.

All the better to tell my secrets. I hate NYC.

I'm about to generalize the shit out of one of the biggest, most notorious places in the world:

The city is ugly and dirty, jaded and snobby. From the architecture to the architects, the city reeks with conceit and bitterness and anger. No one is capable of smiling, of patience when I brush their arm with my purse, of kindness or hospitality.

My justification comes from my privileged past. I have lived in the sage-covered foothills of the the Sandias in New Mexico. I have lived on the lakeshore of pristine Payette Lake, surrounded by snow capped mountains and fresh air. I have lived in Missoula, Montana, a place known for its beauty, not only geographically, but the beauty of the people. People in the west (no generalizations here!), are happy and light and kind and accepting because they have room to move, fresh, clean air to breathe, and a contagious happiness because they know that they do not have to live in New York Goddamn City.

Did I mention I hate it here?

People are so materialistic that they have babies like they buy purses. And so they hire nannies. To raise their children. So that they can show them off at the company holiday galas (which they work through) and fulfill some convoluted ideal that that is the way life should be lived.

Of over 100 applications and resumes submitted, I have been called back to 10 interviews. Of those, I have heard back from 5. Of the 5, 3 denied me because I am too "new" to the city. Denied because they doubt my ability to catch the L train and hail a taxi. (I'm really good at both of those things.) The other 2, a bookstore and a publishing company, denied me because my education was not obtained from a reputable establishment. Based on the curses and grunts I muttered on my way out, they may just be right.

I am not sure what comes next.

Hope you are well, wherever you are, GSS!