i swear i'm not dead.

hey ya'll!!!!! guess what???? i still exist... which shouldn't be really surprising except for the fact that all the good people were supposed to be sucked up to heaven by some holy vacuum and the rest of us were just supposed to stay here and tear each other apart????? luckily, it was just another delusion by some crazy christian wackjob and didn't really mean anything. i did try to use it as an excuse to get out of going to work that day but when my boss casually retorted with that little word that donald trump is so fond of i gave up on my dreams of using my last day on the planet to do copious amounts of cocaine and show my boobs to everyone, and instead went and made really grumpy tourists coffee. for all day. other than that... things are not so normal around here. i have decided that i will not be going to norway (this is where you all sigh sadly) and instead will be staying in bozeman and enrolling in school again. i hope this will kick my life into high gear for a while because even though we all had to listen to and read sam's bitching for the last year i was secretly envious. i miss the hustle... not like the rap game (i get to do that on the weekends) but i just miss being so balls deep in projects that when i lay down at night i can actually sleep. makes sense no???? so that is what i am doing. as for me and russell... we are still friends and care for each other a lot... so don't freak out. i miss you all and now that sam is in butte i feel a gss reunion coming on. what are everyone's plans for june????

max---- te amo your awesome.

julia... take lots o photos

sam... i love you.

rachel... i love you more probably.

chynna---- i don't know you but your posts are interesting and it would be fun to meet you *hint hint come to butte*

is that it???? if we have a new contributor i missed it and it's not my fault.

ciao bellas!!!!!
(in my heaviest drag queen accent)

Unusually Calm

So I took a spontaneous trip to Montana and am, right at this very minute, sitting in Clark's living room with Julia + family as they talk about her road trip (should have jumped on this, it sounds AWESOME, though Julia was not willing to go to the world's most giant ball of yarn though so I'm headed to Ireland instead) and we digest an amazing breakfast.
Montana has been unusually tame. The wind has been crazy and people's houses are getting smashed all around us, but the fact that I remember everything that happened this weekend means that things have definitely changed. I miss the days of midget fights and free drugs from hobos (tags: first trip to Montana, alternate universe, MOM COME AND GET ME THINGS HAVE GOTTEN STRANGE) but I'm now feeling kind of inclined to maybe move here for a bit. We'll see.
Anyway, Julia was disappointed that I hadn't posted more so this is my whirlwind update, I told her I was intimidated by how fascinating and funny all the rest of y'all are. Congratulations, and carry on.

Now that I'm done with college and yet another commercially-driven holiday is behind me and the flower shop, I theoretically have more time to blog, but that doesn't mean I actually will. Because here is the thing. I have to move out of my house, "have fun with my family while they're in town," then get ready for our enormous road trip.

This is roughly our path. We leave Missoula May 18, and while I'm lounging around Ellensburg for a month, Clark and Kyle will be working for a friend of Clark's on her ranch in Nevada. They are going to build a straw bale structure of some kind; they've downscaled somewhat from their original goal so I'm not a hundred percent on what they're actually doing besides getting buff and tan. Then they'll come back up to Ellensburg, and after the Solstice party on June 18, we actually technically hit the road.

All the way west, then south, then fuckin' Grand Canyon camping for Fourth of July, then three steamy weeks at Clark's parents' house in Arkansas.

We will get to see America in all its shining glory.

Then, somehow, we're supposed to get all the way up the east coast and back to Missoula by the third week of August, giving Clark and Kyle enough time to get ready for fall semester (suckers). As of right now, we're set to be in Cleveland for Clark's birthday, August 16. We'll see how that goes.

Already getting ready for the birthday party.

Seriously, though, I can't really hang out on the blogosphere the next two weeks or so. Sorry, I'll blog all about Ellensburg when I get there.

Que hubo parceros?

The other day I went into a small grocery store to buy some food. The cashier handed me my items, and I replied with the customary "gracias!". Except instead of saying gracias I said "cuatro!"...which you may know and love in English as the number 4. I don't know where these mental slip-ups come from but it's basically shown me that being a Spanish major has its limitations.

Also, a few weeks ago someone spray painted on my house "No a la invasion imperialista en Libia" (No to the imperialist invasion of Lybia)...which makes me think someone out there knows I'm American and is blaming me for bombing Lybia. But I'm innocent. The only bombs I drop are news updates like the following: I'll be in Butte June 11th through June 27th and in that time I want to kiss each and everyone of you.

That is all.

I Demand a Turkey in a Pan

Hello Julia. I need to see this tattoo.

Hello Max. I need you to write a post someday. You are the worst one.

Hello Calvin. You are really actually the worst one.

Hello Rachel. 'Sup? You are probably still asleep because you stayed up watching the Royal Wedding. Why?

Hello Haylee. Do you ever wear headphones but not listen to music so you can eavesdrop on people? I'm doing that right now. I can't decide if I want to hear someone talk about me or what. I guess I just like to spy.

Hello Olive. How's Dexter? I'll be back home in two weeks to steal your dog and your boyfriend.

Hello Chynna. Would you be interested in doing some readings in Butte this summer?

Hello Internet. I've been trying to avoid being on you, but you have far too many fun games. It's almost finals week, which is a time for me to reflect on if my absurdly pricey education is worth it. I'm going to go with yes, it is.

me circa this very second

I think it's a valuable thing because it is teaching me that I am terrific and that other people are just just just awful. In this school I have been surrounded by so many whiney baby-childs that I can never ever again feel worthless. Even at my very lowest, at least I am better than some of these people. The teachers and facilities are top notch. I've grown exponentially as an artist and a thinker. I've developed self-esteem enough to consider myself above certain others. Valuable lessons up in here.

Ironically enough, the root of these people being terrible is a lack of humility. Uniformly, the worst of the worst at SAIC are the kids who hem and haw over every assignment. The ones who deflect criticism and roll their eyes. It's scary/sad how many of these types are around. There's a sense of entitlement here that I never felt in Montana (or anywhere else, for that matter).

Also I met Rachel here. That's worth $700,000 a semester I guess.

The only people to eavesdrop on right now are talking about House MD.

Well,

Here it is.

What Word?

My roommate and I were talking about The Poisonwood Bible, which she just started and I happen to love. Which lead to a discussion of Kerouac (?). Which morphed into Bible talk. She is a kinda-sorta Catholic, and I'm a no-good, usedtobe Christian. She refers to the Old Testament as "the time when God was really mean," and thought that Matthew, Mark, Luke and John were the survivors of some sort of apostle-slaughter that occurred around the same time as the crucifixion. I'm no Bible scholar, but I told her that I had read the Bible through, twice. She asked me when in the world I had time for that.

Here's my confession: My senior year, I graduated early and spent the spring semester losing twenty pounds and reading the Bible. And I made dinner for my parents every night.

Looking back, I think about all of the rad things I could've done with that time. I could've trained for a triathlon (bucketlist item). Or gone to Sasquatch. Or gotten a job. Or applied to more than one college and even more scholarships. Instead, my kitten and I got really close and I found out who I think Jesus really is and renounced organized religion.

(sorry...)

It's kind of cool. Not a lot of people have read the Bible, let alone any other cornerstone religious texts. But I feel I can count myself a conscientious objector to the hypocrisy that I feel runs deep through Christianity. I don't really want to piss anyone off or get into a closed circuit debate, so just consider this. I think Jesus was a real guy. And he was a revolutionary. And I think he wanted people to follow his example so that they would see humanity as a giant community in the hope that everyone would take care of each other. I'm not convinced that he was the Messiah, and my beliefs about God, or some sort of divine manifestation, are still up in the air.

It's Easter, or was, and my childhood memories of sunrise services and resurrection stories have me full of religiosity I guess. My original Bible study pointed me away from Christianity, a place where few practice what they preach.I didn't mean for it to happen that way, and I've calmed down since then. Now, I miss the community of church, a place where, at least on the surface, everyone is there for the same reason. I've been church-hopping lately, but I've mostly found places where face-melting guitar solos and free lattes entice you to become a believer. For now, I guess, I'll stick with the serenity found in meditative solitude by the river, in the gully on the backside of Mt. Jumbo.

Happy soul-searching, GSS. (Everyone's doing it)