Well, I, too, feel the need to discuss America's birthday with you all, and since I ironically went from Missoula to Butte (they have Montana's largest 3rd of July celebration... which.... are you even allowed to be proud of that?) I thought it suitable to follow Olivia's impassioned political speeches with some vaguely patriotic drivel.
Day One: July 2. Gin & tonics and Cold Smoke at the Silver Dollar in downtown Butte. A delightfully sinewy and surprisingly British blues singer had some of us kind of dancing and a middle aged man absolutely not dancing at all. He was straight up fidgeting or just shrugging or something, alternating with clapping and freaking air guitaring the shit outta that place. I was worried.
When we got back to Sam's we found five or six drunk boys sitting on top of the fireplace in the lotus position and sunglasses, kissing me too many times, feeling my toes, putting their feet in the kitchen sink, and singing Biz Markie's "Just A Friend" more loudly than I'd ever heard before. It was rad.
Day Two: July 3. For those of you that don't know, July 3 is the wedding anniversary of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and The Statue of Liberty. He made her in his own image and then married her.
This is what happened when she lost her virginity.
Anyway to commemorate this auspicious occasion we went out to a greasy but satisfying breakfast, and onward to acquire classy Americana keepsakes/wardrobes. Barbeque in the evening, take full advantage of the lack of the no open container law (the first thing I did the first time I visited Butte was crack open a beer and walk to the liquor store) and wander downtown. Every year the people at Maloney's construct a couple rockets made out of beer cans (America!) and send them blasting into the evening sky. This year's four were disappointingly consistent, therefore striking little to no fear in any of us except Kelly, of course, but I did manage to recover the tails of one in an alley, thus completing the body of one Wilbur had found the previous year. You're welcome.
When we once more returned to home base, we knew there was nothing better to do besides get tanked and light fireworks, so we got tanked and lit fireworks. The Star Spangled Bangers which warned that they shot off flaming balls were the highlight. Then when the city show began, I mostly proclaimed "BEAUTIFUL" and almost rolled down the hill and wondered who the boy in the skirt was. I guess after that we proceeded to just drink more booze and crazily sing and dance to "Africa" by Toto and "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler. (Have you SEEN that music video?!) P.S. Sam drunkenly shouting "FUCKIN FOREVER'S GONNA START TONIGHT" is an image I will never lose.
Oh yeah and unlike last year, Max luckily didn't get bit by a dog and be a total baby the rest of the night so he got to have fun with the rest of us who would have gotten over the injury anyway. Good job on that one Max. Keep it real.
Max on the 3rd of Joolye.
Day Three: July 4. Considering that most of us had died in the night, everybody else did the next best thing and slept pretty late. Then we watched The Soup and literally the best movie ever made, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Then we drove back to Missoula where I found two other sad drunk boys to hang out with. That night ended up with a big pile of broken glass and this song on repeat.
America, I love you.
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